I have an old family Bible. One of those Bibles with extra pages to write down information about the family: births, deaths, causes of death, marriages, genealogies, significant events. It goes back about 150 years. The family tree has a way of branching out and wandering around. I wouldn’t call it so much a tree as a tangle of kudzu and wisteria.
Family can be complicated.
It doesn’t really matter where or when there are always people related in some way.
I remember one time my Grandmother taking me to visit her double first cousin who lived in Fountain Inn. For the uninitiated: when two siblings in one family marry two siblings from another family their children are double first cousins to each other. This made her my double first cousin twice removed. Her grandson was there, my double third cousin.
My children have spent a great deal of time with their third cousins as well, that is where kissing cousins come into play, meaning they are distantly enough related that they could safely, morally, and legally marry, though that hasn’t happened, yet.
One time on vacation I visited another Church and I ended up introducing the wife of my first cousin once removed to the husband of my first cousin. Now they were from opposite sides of my family, so they were not related to one another, but because of my family they had relations in common.
Of course, extended family isn’t always easy, it can often be unpleasant or uncomfortable. When my other grandmother passed away my Grandfather remarried a woman from New Jersey. She was a Jewish, atheist, CPA, artist from Brooklyn. They tried living in Greenville for a while back in the 1970’s. It didn’t work out so well, so they moved back up north to civilization.
There were tense moments. Was she really my grandmother, were we her grandchildren? I loved her the same, I thought she was a hoot.
Then there are family members who keep getting married and divorced having children here and there. Never sure who will show up for Christmas dinner. Never sure if the divorced spouse is still an aunt or an uncle.
Family, it only seems to work when generosity is shown by all concerned. Once related- always related. If we aren’t related, we will make up a reason to be related.
One of the great things about being human, we are always trying to find ways to be related, to relate to one another, to hold something in common.
The story of Abraham and his extended and confusing relations has always both bemused and amused me. It makes my family seem small and simple.
Abraham and Sarah are an elderly barren couple, until things get interesting, they entertain angels and are promised a child and a mighty nation. Isaac is born whose name means “laughter”. A story of life coming from a dead place.
But before that they get impatient and decide to have a child from Hagar, who is named Ishmael, meaning “God will hear”. And God does hear the baby boy cry out as he is dying of thirst in the desert after he and Hagar are cast out. And God promises them to be a mighty nation. Abraham sends them out reluctantly, only after God tells him it will be alright. Another story of life coming from a dead place. And so the earth turns. God’s Soap Opera.
I can see Abraham shaking his head, amazed at how quickly life can become very complicated and full of all sorts of people.
The story gets even more complicated after that, better than any soap opera, there ends up being another wife and a whole bunch more children, but that is another story.
I read this story, the story of Abraham’s children and my first thought is that no wonder monogamy became so popular. But the story is not that simple. There are amazing and deep undercurrents that deserve our attention.
God’s chosen people and their extended family.
It turns out all the neighboring nations are related to Israel. Not just the Ishmaelites, but also the Moabites and Ammonites who are descended from Abraham’s nephew Lot and his incestuous relations with his two daughters.
The Edomites are descended from Esau, Jacob’s elder brother whom Jacob all too easily swindled out of his inheritance, both are Abraham’s grandchildren.
Interesting how the extended family and Israel both have origins that are rather colorful as well as miraculous.
Life out of a dead place.
Water in the desert.
Sweet honey found in the rocky wilderness.
Biblical family values aren’t necessarily what some people think.
Going out of our way to find ways to be related, to be connected, that is the biblical family value. We are all family. If we aren’t related, we’ll make up a reason to be related.
We are all stuck together in the middle of a ridiculous human and divine drama that keeps finding life and fruit in barren and dry places.
The births of Isaac and Ishmael are much like the birth of Jesus.
They are the flesh and blood that connect people to one another. They are the relations that people hold in common. They are God’s gift of gathering people together. Of making and finding relations.
Jesus is the flesh and blood of our human story, the silliness, the sadness, the amusing and the bemusing, all brought into communion with the God who always finds a way to make relations.
All these stories of extended family are sacraments that point beyond us to the Holy One in whom we have relations in common.
Our family of origin is God. Who knows who may show up for dinner? Better set another place at the table. It’s a family thing.
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